Pet Peeve: Quotation Punctuation Madness or WTF?

Why, oh, why are those periods and commas inside the quotation mark, even when they aren’t part of the quote, unless there is a following parenthetical phrase (like a citation), in which case they come after the closing parenthesis outside the quotation marks? 

Correct: “The best genre fiction today,” according to me, “is fantasy.” 

Incorrect: “The best genre fiction today”, according to me, “is fantasy”. 

Correct: "Aztec cities were much cleaner than European cites of the same time period" (Samuels, Aztec Culture, 1972). 

Incorrect: "Aztec cities were much cleaner than European cites of the same time period." (Samuels, Aztec Culture, 1972)

And why, oh why are those question marks inside the quotation mark when quoting a question but outside the quotation mark when the quote is not a question but is quoted inside the writer’s question?  

Correct: Ann asked, “What are you doing?” 

Incorrect: Ann asked, “What are you doing”? 

Correct: Wasn’t it Dickens who wrote, “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times”? 

Incorrect: Wasn’t it Dickens who wrote, “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times?”

And what is it about the semi-colon that makes it different from the comma?  Is it that little dot above the comma in the semi-colon that gives it authority to move outside the quotation mark leaving its brother behind?

Correct: He provides a list of types of magic in his most recent article, “Magic in Fantasy”; he doesn’t provide any explanations. 

Incorrect: He provides a list of types of magic in his most recent article, “Magic in Fantasy;” he doesn’t provide any explanations.

And as if this wasn't bad enough, there are the punctuation rules for the phrase introducing the quotation.  Use a comma if the introductory phrase cannot stand alone as a sentence, but use a colon if it can.  However, use no punctuation if the introductory phrase FLOWS into the quotation.  

All these rules are so complicated and without logic that I can’t even describe them without confusing myself, and probably you.  It’s enough to make any sane writer chuck the rules in the dumpster, and some do.  Some authors, like Cormac McCarthy, have stopped using quotation marks all together.  

Imagine writing a fast paced military action scene where the good guys are outnumbered by the bad guys, and in the middle of it all you want one of the characters to ask, 

Wasn’t it Patton who said “Live for something rather than die for nothing”?  

And now everything stops while you try to remember where the question mark goes.  (For those who care it goes outside the quotation mark.)  No wonder some writers have stopped using them.

Of course all of this drives some grammarians to distraction.  I say they should have an epiphany and rewrite the rules.